Day 18-Suicidal Mindset

I am depressed!

what is there to celebrate and be grateful for in my life?
nothing.

I hate my life.
why?

1) I quite my job to groom my son, but he is not easy to handle. It is so difficult to discipline him and train him. He does not listen and likes to talk back.

2) I want to study my IELTS and yet it is not gg smoothly for me.

3) I started MMB and yet it is not going as planned.

4) I have no goals in life.

5) I am alone in this world; no one understands me. My husband just asked me to pray. I hated it. Stop asking me to have faith and trust in God that he will help me! If he does, will I be like this? I do not agree with this phase. All goods come from him, all bad come from me! CRAP! Do not talk to me about religion.

NOW, Let's get organised!

I am grateful that

1) I am alive. Yes, things are not smooth, however, I know I have the capability to endeavor through it.

2) I am an accountant. I have a degree and CPA. I am more than I thought I am.

3) I have a family; a wife and a mother.

What should I do today?

1) attend the wake for 2 hours
2) send the son to piano class at 3pm
3) read my book
4) consider to be POA tutor
5) book IELTS speaking----------------DONE